( photo from Dan's collection)

My time away...

was lovely... intense... back breaking... renewing... and amazing...
We meditated for at least 10 hrs each day... up at 4am... in bed by 9:30pm...
everything in between was meditation,
with a little food and quick naps in between...

Hard to go into in words... the meditation style itself can be both grueling and amazing...

from extreme pain...to bliss and ecstacy...

At the end of the 10 days... after not speaking or even eye contact with anyone... we began to speak and share a little... it felt like coming out of the womb... everything is so new... raw and vulnerable... and you can feel... everything... everything... no separation... the energy in the air, in the trees, the sky...

in the person in front of you... all one energy... vibrating at an incredible speed...

with dancing light patterns somehow creating images...

There is a sadness that it is rising today as I speak of this... what blessings to go inside
and to be cared for in that way... and a bit of a resistance to returning...
(the mind is so funny... resistance to go... resistance to return...)

What I can say about what is happening now... as I was telling Dan... it's the subtleness...

the more quiet i become... the more subtle It becomes...
It is in the subtleness where everything is truly met... nothing is pushed away...
nothing grabbed for... just met...
And there is an interesting sense of relief as the "memory" seems to recall
the grabbing and the pushing... and how lovely it is instead...
just to meet what is... as it is...

The mind weaves it patterns and flavors with rainbow colors... and what is seen is so captivating... such a display... and intent to entertain... and yet the subtleness... this is the flavor that lasts... and will always... continue to become more and more subtle...
beyond the beyond of the beyond...
and beyond that...
Gate, Gate... Para Gate... Para Sum Gate... Bodhi Svaha...

What a blessed life to be offered such gifts... we are all so blessed...

Om Shanti... and lots and lots of LOVE!